Dating apps have increasingly become more and more popular. For many people, they are a convenient, quick, and casual way to date. But how can you tell that it’s time to take a break aka. delete the app(s) from your phone?
- It’s no longer fun. If you are beggining to have feelings of frustration, stress, loneliness, boredom or decreased feelings of self-esteem/self-worth. Social media, in general, can increase feelings of loneliness and depression. One study found that people who spent more time passively on social media – scrolling through their feed- experienced higher levels of depressed mood, loneliness, hopelessness, and feeling inferior. Are you feeling emotionally exhausted, instead of the excitement many people first experience when trying out dating apps for the first time? Check-in with yourself.
- You’ve noticed that you’re more judgy than usual. Have you begun feeling cynical about dating? Are you beginning to make assumptions about people based on their profiles and believe there’s no way you can be wrong? Judging is part of using apps, you judge whether or not you’d be interested in a person based on their pictures, bio, whether they like dogs, etc. Some amount is normal and just part of how you’re supposed to use the apps. But have you noticed an increase or change in the type of judging you do?
- You’re using dating apps to get over your ex. Everyone works through a breakup differently, but if you’re using dating apps to distract yourself from your ex consider if it’s increasing resentment or frustration. Pay attention to how you are feeling when talking to matches or dates.
So what now???
If you feel like you can relate to some of the above points maybe it’s a good time to take a step back and take a break from your dating apps. Be clear and honest with yourself on what are the reasons you think you need some time away, and how you want to feel before returning. There is no ideal amount of time away, it will look different for everyone.
Reconnect with yourself by taking yourself on a solo date, journaling, processing with a therapist, and spending time doing things you enjoy with friends and family.
Click here for more information on EMDR.
|Joana Couto, LAC is a therapist at the Olive Branch Therapy Group. Joana works with children, teens, young adults and adults. Joana specialties include anxiety, life transitions, depression and trauma. If you are interested in working with Joana, contact us via email, phone or chat on our website.|